Wallet

At first it was no big deal. I’ve misplaced my wallet a thousand times over the course of my life, but a quick search of the house—or the car—had always uncovered the whereabouts of my misplaced treasure. A couple of times I’ve had to return to a friend’s house or a restaurant to recover my forgotten billfold. Once, I even lost my wallet in a river, but a kind stranger with a snorkel heroically recovered it, much to my relief. Each time my wallet was back in my pocket, I would breathe a sigh of relief and shoot up a heavenward ‘Thanks again!’

This time it was different. Lisa and I had gone to the airport late at night to greet some incoming friends. Hugs exchanged and suitcases recovered, I paid for parking, and we joyfully loaded our friends into the vehicle and returned home. As we began to get our guests settled in for the night, I realized that my wallet was not in my pocket. I checked the usual places where I might have put my black leather companion, and came up emptyhanded. I looked through my jacket pockets and searched the car. Lisa and our friends pitched in, retracing every step I had taken since we got home. Nothing.

“Where did you last have it?”

Suppressing the urge to roll my eyes at the redundant question, I recounted how I had just paid for parking. My wallet either had to be at home or in the airport parkade. Ticked off at the 2:00 AM inconvenience, I jumped in the passenger seat of the car (since my driver’s license was AWOL), and my friend graciously drove me back to the airport to scour the area. No luck. With my stomach in nervous knots, we returned home and crawled into our beds.

In my 45 years, I had never actually—completely—lost my wallet. Hoping that it would somehow surface, I ignored standard advice, and put off calling the bank and driving bureau to report the loss. For a full week, I ransacked the house, pestered the airport ‘lost and found’ department, and hovered over our mailbox, hoping my lost treasure would materialize. I called the police to see if anything had been turned in and monitored my bank accounts for suspicious activity. All of my efforts yielded nothing. For the first time in my life, my wallet—and all of its contents—were truly gone.

It was a strange week. I couldn’t prove who I was, and had lost access to my resources. I felt naked and powerless. My money was still in the bank, but it was temporarily out of my reach. I couldn’t buy anything or secure any cash. I was still a licensed driver, but I was unable to produce the evidence. I took a chance and continued to drive (with an abundance of caution) hoping I would not be pulled over and caught emptyhanded by the authorities.

Finally, a full week after losing my wallet, I bit the bullet and began the process of replacing my plastic deck of cards. Thankfully, I still had my passport (tucked away in a safe), and was able to easily satisfy the questions of the legal and financial authorities. As I write this, my replacement cards are ‘in the mail’.

This may be the first time I have totally lost my wallet, but it’s not the first time I have struggled to demonstrate my identity. It’s not the first time I have felt incapable of accessing resources. I know what it is to be unsure who I am. I know what it is to feel like I can’t tap in to the heavenly assets that have been stored up for me.

As I’ve gone about the usual business of life, I’ve sometimes neglected to ‘own’ my identity. I’ve floundered in the face of obstacles, forgetting that I have been granted access to heavenly solutions. I’ve lost track of who I am and fretted at the resulting impotence.

Here’s the thing… the resources that God has provided haven’t gone anywhere. His storehouse is still full, and by His grace, my irrevocable Kingdom citizenship still grants me access.

I may have lost track of who I am, but based on His records, my identity is secure. Whether I feel able to demonstrate it or not, my standing before the Ultimate Authority is solid, because it is based on what He has declared, not on my ability to prove it.

I may feel unable—or even unqualified—to tap into the riches of heaven. Thankfully, it is not my feelings that count. If I have lost my link to divine supply, I need only reconnect with the Almighty Banker, and access to the wealth of His storeroom will be restored.

Are you feeling unsure of yourself? Are you questioning who you are? Are you feeling under-resourced? Maybe it’s time to head to your identity ‘safe,’ and pull out your passport. Humble yourself and come to your King in repentance. Allow the Father to direct you to your deeper identity—rooted in Him—and begin to get reacquainted with His loving, forgiving, resource-granting, authority. He will not reject you. There will certainly be lessons to learn. Humility is required. Dependence on His mercy and grace must be confessed. But as you learn to walk in recognition of what He has declared, you’ll be less likely to lose your way… and your wallet.

Philippians 3:20; Philippians 4:19

Comments

Posted On
Nov 09, 2017
Posted By
Crystal

Beautifully written, as usual. So thankful at your obedience and listening to God for the message he has for ua all through you.

Posted On
Nov 10, 2017
Posted By
Betty marshall

Akways enjoy your blog Its interesting how you can take everyday events and get spiritual insights.

Posted On
Nov 17, 2017
Posted By
Mom

I hope you’ve got the wallet issue sorted out with no negative repercussions! It’s interesting to see how God uses even our setbacks and inconveniences to bring something good to His kids. We wouldn’t have this insightful post without that experience.

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